COMMANDER’S LOG _ SKYDATE 91817.2:
Aloha, people of earth! This is Chief Commander Erez Lapsker transmitting on this remarkable day from OffWorld Laboratories in outer space to announce we are now fully operational. WOOHOO!!
Can’t believe it was only one month ago on August 21st that we launched our orbiting observation laboratory during the total solar eclipse as the world united for that spectacular stellar event!
Our mission is simple—achieving the next evolutionary upgrade for humankind by developing enriching and awesome virtual reality experiences that make the universe a better place to live in. Our incredible band of mad scientists, engineers, artists and stow-away gypsies have been preparing to achieve this directive with months of training and intense, interplanetary study of human activities and behaviors. Based on our findings, we’ve begun writing stellar code to improve the daily lives of all people.
As Chief Commander of OffWorld Labs, it’s my duty to ensure we work together as a cohesive team to deliver on our mission (and stop any red-alerts set off by those pesky anti-grav aliens floating around and protesting out there…but you didn’t hear that from me)!
As this transmission goes out to all of you living down there on our precious blue planet, I can tell you with great confidence that we are totally stoked for the honor of this high-value mission, and we’re looking forward to using our brainpower to bring peace, harmony and absolute joy to the universe!
So, the next time you look up at the sky, remember amazing things are coming soon! Also, look out for my future Commander’s Log updates and for the pen I just dropped out the medical bay window. Sorry ‘bout that!
Chief Commander out.